A while back I had the amazing opportunity to chat with a local Career Coach. During our discussion, she asked me what I really wanted to be doing in my career. I told her all the amazing things that I would love to do. Write, coach, speak to groups, lead retreats, the list went on and on. Then she asked me such a simple, but powerful question “How many of those things are you currently doing?” Whoa, What?? Well, I think about those things all the time. I envision myself doing all of those things, I even almost attempted to do some (or one) of those things. But, actually doing…zero.
That’s when she told me those magic words we all know so well (thanks to Nike)…you need to just do it. She asked me how I know what my dream career looks like if I have never actually done it? How do I know I that would love to stand in front of groups of people and attempt to motivate them by my words? How do I know I would love to lead people on retreats? How do I know I would love to coach people to reach their highest goals if I have never tried? Huh, I never thought about it like that. But, she was right. Just because I majored in Speech in college does not mean I would still love standing in front of people and speaking. Maybe now public speaking has become another one of those crazy phobias I seem to develop as I get older! Just because I used to love to write doesn’t mean I still enjoy it. Yikes! I guess it was time to stop dreaming and start doing! I needed to find out if my dream career really was still my dream!
Recently I had a rough week. I had a birthday and a pretty significant one at that. My car got broken into, my husband and I had a fight, and one of my students changed my last name on my classroom door to something not very nice. I felt like Alexander in the children’s book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
My fortieth birthday was on a Tuesday. My entire day consisted of people telling all the terrible things that would start happening now that I turned the big 4-0. Apparently, I was going to start gaining weight without being able to take it off, I was going to start growing hair in places that I didn’t want to grow hair, while the hair on my head was going to start getting thinner. My eyes were going to go bad, my knees were going to get weak, and my libido was going to disappear. Awesome.
I love being a mom. I love spending time with my kids, going on adventures with them, cheering them on in all of their events/sports/activities. I also love the hugs, kisses, cuddles, smiles, laughter, and I especially love the “I love yous.” I love being the one that can make them feel better because sometimes they just need their mom.
But, to be honest I don’t love all parts of being a mom. I don’t love always cooking for them, cleaning up after them, running them to all of their events/sports/activities, doing their laundry, refereeing all of their arguments, being the ‘bad guy’ when they don’t get their way, always telling them ‘No’, yelling at them, hearing doors slam, being talked back to, being the one they take everything out on because I am their mom. Being a mom is hard.
I have to admit something, I am new to manifesting. I love the idea of it, the idea that our thoughts become things. I love the idea that we create our own reality and all of our wildest dreams really are attainable. But, as much as I love the idea, the reality of holding the key to my own destiny is a little terrifying to me. I’ve lived my life knowing that things happen for a reason. Someone like me might be labeled as a slightly negative person, but I like to think I am more of a realist. I have gone through life with the general philosophy of ‘hope for the best, but expect the worst.” I feel that this idea of knowing and accepting the negative side of things have kept me living a pretty safe life. Somehow life seems a bit easier to think that I have no control of anything, and whatever happens to me is just random luck and there is nothing I can do to change it. I have a job that I enjoy, an amazing husband and three awesome children. Life is good. But, now my eyes have been opened to the knowledge that my good life can be even better. Life can be everything I have ever dreamed with my amazing husband and three awesome kids.
I know what my dreams are, and now I know what I can do to achieve them. But, just when I think I am ready to take the leap of faith and put my trust in the Universe, the realist side of me pipes in. Doubt starts to fill my head, faith starts dwindling and my negative thoughts start to creep in. Who do I think I am? I’m not good enough. I can’t do this.
Manifestation proves that living the life of our dreams is a choice that we all can make. But, taking that leap of faith isn’t always as easy as it might seem. Sometimes people like me need to see the choices laid out in front of them, weigh the options and determine if they are ready to take the leap.